Haircut
Michael Ellis

A number three” I said clearly. I always said a number three. I knew after coming into this same haircutting chain (which will remain unnamed) for OVER a year that that number meant a certain length that my hair would be cut. Short but not too short. What I didn’t know then was that every other haircutter up until that moment had always asked me an additional question, a clarification if you will. So you want a number three over your ears, on the sides and then blend it in to the top? Yes, I replied.

But this woman didn’t ask that question. She just snapped on the number three setting and began cutting. I had just picked up a Cosmopolitan Magazine to read. I always read those Women magazines in waiting rooms. I feel like I’m on intelligence gathering mission on the mysteries of females, like I am eavesdropping on a foreign culture, trying to gain more knowledge about the other side. I was looking for an article entitled “Finding HIS G⌐ spot”. So intent on the search, I really didn’t feel the first major cut right across the top of my head. It was only after I discovered that some nitwit had ripped the article out that I glanced into the mirror.

STOP, I screamed, what are you doing??!
You said a number three, so that’s what I am doing.

AHGGG. My abundant salt and pepper hair was piling up all around me. A skull that I had not seen clearly in 40 years was staring back at me. I had what my son calls a buzz but when I was in 2nd grade we called it a burr haircut.

In an instant the entire framing of my face changed. Now I am not all that vain about my looks, but this was definitely weird. My eyebrows suddenly looked bushier, my forehead more prominent, I had sort of a Neanderthal look. There were some benefits. Easy to shampoo. The texture was great, like Sandpaper or a brand new brillo pad. Itches can be thoroughly scratched. There’s no brushing or combing; every hair is always in place.

But I will be glad to see my hair return and I will be a bit more specific next time in the saloon.

This is Michael Ellis with a Perspective.

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Skills

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December 1, 2010